well for someone who told the truth and spoke their mind about people on xanga they certainly didnt like it when I told them the truth and how it was.
Ironic that i must admit.

I have come to terms with the fact i have a ED and just how fucked up my head is. Im at the stage where i want to recover from this, Its taken over a year to realise i need help! Ive treated the people around me like shit everyday. I almost lost my bf over it, almost drove my parents to get a divorce.....but no more
it isnt going to be easy but i have to for my own sake.

and another thing I notice about the people on here, not only are many of you fake-its just so fucking obvious that your attention seeking.
I read so much about people going out drinking,going out eating etc. If you suffered that much you couldnt do any of those things. In peoples blogs they contradict their own words....even in the same fucking blog entry at times and its just so fucking stupid.

I for one feel sorry for you,your lifes must be that sad and lonely you have to come on here and pretend you have a disease just so you can say you 'fit in'

x

well tomorrow is the day i go and see a therapist. to be honest im loosing sleep over it, i dont know whats gonna happen! I dont know what it will be like! I just dont know...... Ive been trying not to think about it.

My head is still messed up, picture like a jigsaw puzzle with all the pieces jumbled up, not only is that my thoughts but with my thoughts its not just one jigsaw puzzle, its like 5 and the pieces are also upside down with no pattern on them...god i wonder if my head will ever get sorted.
I never thought i would be someone to suffer from an ED, U use to look at pictures of people thinking they were crazy how they could do it.
And here iam, another one of those anorexics that is obsessed over food,weight and anything to do with food.

Im seeing my ex again, at the moment he is the only thing keeping me sane,I know where i stand with him and although ive put him through so much shit he is still around, surely that meens he does love me then?? it must do right?
He was over today for abit, yeah we argued about stuff which looking back it was just me putting up barriers towards him :(

He doesnt deserve to be treated like this, my family dont deserve it. Ive pushed my friends away because of this fucking voice in my head- yet finally its got to stop...I cant go on living like this.

I dont want to loose my bf as he has endured so much from me, yet he has stuck around when ever other bloke would of ran a mile. I still cant talk to him about everything because i dont want him thinking im weird, but we were led there the other night and he asked me something and I just started talking. I never thought i would be able to talk to him of all people but i did.........

whats even shitter atm is i have got a chest infection which i cant get rid of, no one can help, if this is what comes from not eating properly (my immune system being fucked) how can this self destruction be worth it, Ive obviously damamged my body in such a way it will never be right again.
reading some of your blogs makes me realise I was in the same place as you once in my life, where i obsessed to the point of insanity!
My only word to you girls is you are stronger than that voice in your head, you dont want to live your life like this forever, there are so many people that care and love you for who you are- just fight it.

Easy for me to say i know, because its the hardest thing Ive had to do and i havent even started yet but I know one thing, im not going to fail at this....I cant

x